Most virtual conferences are built to keep you watching, not participating. After years of hosting remote gatherings, I’ve learned that engagement doesn’t come from better tech or flashier slides. It comes from one shift: designing for (meaningful) contribution instead of consumption. Here’s exactly how to do that.
Start by designing for differently
Here’s the thing I keep coming back to: the world is very designed for us to “take it in”. Our phones are built by a lot of very well-paid engineers whose job is to make sure we stay on just a little bit longer. There are content creators working their hardest to increase your retention and consumption. I recognize the irony here.
So when I set out to host the Connectors Summit, a remote event I run every December, I wanted to design the opposite. An event where “connection is the content”.
What does that look like in practice? It starts by handing over the mic. Instead of standing at the front and talking about my mission, I metaphorically turn the podium around and ask the people in the room, “How would you define the mission and vision of what you’re up to?” The moment you flip that question around, people stop being an audience and start being participants.
Run the “highlighter test” on your agenda
Want to know whether your event will actually be engaging? I can tell you before it even starts. It doesn’t matter who the group is, or how arms-crossed they are. If you show me your agenda, I’ll say, “Cool, nice agenda. Now highlight all the places where you’re going to invite everyone else’s voice.”
If there’s not a lot of color on that page, here’s what’s happening: you’re forcing people into the role of consumer or critic. They can’t contribute, because you haven’t given them the space, the time, or the platform to do it.
People don’t “raise their hand” so to speak if they feel like they are rocking the boat and at risk of judgement by their peers.
They also don’t raise their hand just because they feel safe. People need an invitation to contribute. An excuse to lend their voice. A reason to offer something meaningful to the group.
Most events start with five to sixty minutes of someone else talking while everyone else is pushed into the role of passive consumer.
I like to say that in this format, one person holds the mic and everyone else holds their breath.
And there are only two places they can go from there. Either the audience passively consumes, nodding along, scrolling through the event in their mind. Or they’re left to judge it: I liked that, I didn’t like that. Both keep them on the sidelines.
Invite every voice in the first 5%
The fix is to invite people to participate as early as possible. At the last summit, the very first session happened in Zoom, and I opened with a simple question: if you were to estimate how many people you’ll be in a room with this year, facilitating or leading some kind of gathering, type that number into the chat.
387 people were only at the time which meant 387 numbers came flying through the chat. The average answer was about 1,000. Do the math, and that one room of 387 people was going to directly impact around 387,000 people outside of it. So if you take away one idea, one protocol, one little question, it edits the future of potentially half a million people.
The Contribution Method would call this a “context hook.” It establishes a really compelling reason, tone, and purpose for the rest of the gathering.
That opening did two jobs at once. It reminded everyone why they were there, and it got every single person to contribute in the first few minutes. I love Priya Parker’s work in The Art of Gathering, and one of her ideas stuck with me: if you invite everyone to use their larynx in the first 5% of a gathering, they’re vastly more likely to use it in the other 95%.
Shortly after this, we split off into breakouts to properly put “connection before content.”
So the question to ask yourself is simple: How comfortably early can you invite everybody to speak? This is the real job of icebreakers for virtual meetings. Not filler, but a way to get every voice in the room early.
Create an “unofficial start” so people engage before you begin
One of my friends and colleagues, Mark Collard, introduced an idea I use all the time: the unofficial start. If your event starts at 9am, it doesn’t really start at 9am, because somebody is going to show up at 8:52. The question is, what are you going to invite that early person to contribute before the official start?
Ideally, it starts very low risk. Come in and choose a card with a quote on it that really clicks with you right now. Or come in and write one word to describe your last week on a sticky note, and put it anonymously on a board at the front. It’s a tiny act of participation before you ever take the lead.
That low-risk, low-pressure invitation is the best conversation starter you can offer, because it lets people contribute before the spotlight is on anyone. Want to try this with your own group? You can download free printable quote cards, book excerpts, and more at weand.me/tools.
End in a breakout, not with applause
Most events end the same way: a thank you to the sponsor, a round of applause, and then everyone goes from being in a group to being isolated and alone, walking away solo.
Last year, I hosted an event for Peter Block’s company. Even though it was virtual, I decided to end it differently. Instead of closing with my words, I closed with a question, split everyone into small breakout groups, and invited them to leave whenever they wanted.
That was eight months ago. Two hours before this interview, a guy named John Saunders walked up to me and said, “Hey, you’re the guy who ended that session in breakouts. I have to tell you something! There was a consequence to that!”
His group of four found so much in common that they kept meeting. Weekly. They’re still meeting on a regular basis to this day! One little five-minute closing exercise turned into a remote community that lasted for months.
Remember: every question is an edit button to the future
This is what I’ve learned to do: be an edit button to the future. In the short term, you ask me a question and it changes the very words that come out of my mouth. But when I ask a question and invite people into small groups, I open up a door of possibility that otherwise would not exist.
That’s the whole game. The moment you invite someone to share their experience, their story, their ideas, they can’t fall into being a critic or a consumer.
You’ve invited them into the land of contribution, which in my mind is a much less competitive space. You’re not fighting all the tech companies competing for our attention. You’re just inviting a different part of our brain to show up.
Michael Norton’s research at Harvard on “The IKEA Effect” provides compelling evidence that our “labor leads to love.” Meaning, when you give people ownership over a group process, they are far more likely to fall in love with that group. The experience. The learnings.
Putting it all together
If you take one thing from this, let it be this: stop designing for consumption, and start designing for contribution. Highlight your agenda. Invite every voice early. End in a breakout. And ask questions that edits the future.
Want to go deeper?
Register your interest for The Contribution Method this spring, a live masterclass where you’ll learn to design sessions people actually want to be in.
And if you gather people for a living, come find your people at the Connectors Summit this December, a live experience where facilitators, trainers, and leaders come together to practice, connect, and reset.
