How Connectors Edit the Future: Conversations That Change Lives

What if a simple question could change the trajectory of someone’s life? Two years ago, a mentor of mine asked me a seemingly mundane question: “What’s something you’d like to do more of?” My answer? Scuba diving. At the time, I hadn’t been diving in four years, despite growing up exploring underwater worlds off the coast of Massachusetts. Little did I know that simple question would spark a chain of events leading me back under the waves, hunting for shark fossils in Florida.

This experience hit me with a realization: the conversations we have, no matter how ordinary they seem, have the power to shape the future. By asking the right questions, we can edit tomorrow. Here’s how you can harness this power in your conversations to create a world worth living in.

Why Questions Matter: The Science of Influence

Research backs up this idea. It’s called the question-behavior effect. For example:

• Asking someone, “What’s your intention to give blood today?” can increase the likelihood they’ll donate by 8.6%.
• Asking, “Are you planning to vote?” can increase voter turnout by 25%.
• And perhaps most astonishingly, asking someone, “Are you planning to buy a car in the next six months?” increased car purchases by 35% in a study of 40,000 people.

These questions don’t just influence behavior—they edit the future by changing what actions people take next.

The Transformative Power of Personal Questions

One of the simplest but most powerful ways to create meaningful change is to ask intentional, personal questions. Here are two examples that have profoundly inspired me:

1. “How am I doing as a [parent/leader/friend]?”

My friend Nate Follin asks his kids this question on their half-birthdays. The answers he receives not only deepen his relationship with his children but also guide his growth as a parent. When I started asking this question to my own kids, it became a turning point in our connection.

2. “What do you want?”

At a pizza shop with a 100% employee retention rate (an unheard-of feat in the food service industry), the owner starts every new hire’s journey with this question. On day one, before teaching them how to spin pizzas, he asks, “What’s a dream you’re working toward in the next five years?” From that moment, the team works to support their employees’ aspirations. Whether it’s scheduling around night classes or offering guidance, they intertwine their employees’ dreams with the shop’s goals.

Imagine if every workplace took this approach. What would be possible?

Sparking Conversations That Create Matter

Not long ago, I co-authored the book Ask Powerful Questions with Will Wise. The subtitle, Create Conversations That Matter, embodies the past decade of my work. But recently, I’ve been thinking about a slip of the tongue Will made during a keynote: “Conversations that create matter.”

What if our conversations did more than matter? What if they created tangible outcomes in the material world?

Actionable Conversations for Leaders and Connectors

As a connector, your role is to guide groups, lead meetings, and create space for meaningful interactions. Here are three practical ways to turn everyday conversations into opportunities to edit the future:

1. Approach Meetings with Intention

Before every meeting or gathering, ask yourself: What do I hope this conversation will change? If the answer is “nothing,” consider canceling it. But if the meeting has the potential to spark change, walk in with the mindset that this conversation will shape what happens next.

2. Ask Questions That Stick

A former student facilitator, Alexis, taught me one of the simplest yet most effective questions: “What are you going to do tomorrow?” This question grounds big dreams in actionable steps. Whether you’re leading a team or mentoring someone, this simple question can create momentum.

3. Align Dreams with Action

Whether you’re managing a team or building relationships, aligning your goals with others’ aspirations strengthens collaboration. For instance, helping an employee take night classes that align with their dream ensures your support for their future.

The Magic of Expecting Change

One evening, I had a conversation with a custodian named Steve after a virtual workshop. He shared how a single meeting with his boss—where his workload was halved, and his pay was increased—transformed his perspective. Steve walked away thinking, “I need to have more meetings!”

This story illustrates a profound truth: every conversation holds the potential to change lives. By approaching interactions with the expectation that they can shape the future, we elevate the value of connection.

What Conversations Will You Have Tomorrow?

As connectors, we hold immense power. Every question we ask and every conversation we spark has the potential to edit the future—for ourselves and others. So, I’ll leave you with the same question that inspired this reflection: What’s something you’d like to do more of?

Ready to Spark Meaningful Change?

Download our free printable tools to create conversations that matter: https://weand.me/tools/.

If this blog resonates with you, save the date for next year’s Connectors Summit, where we dive deeper into these ideas and more. Stay tuned for updates!