The first We & Me Model Dynamic talked about feeling connected and alone, and how feeling connected was in direct correlation with feeling valued and understood. This time around, we are going to discuss how certain aspects of your interactions can invoke these feelings. If you think back to a recent conversation you have had, you can probably recall whether you felt like your input mattered or not. We find that people instinctively gravitate towards saying things like “Oh, I know this or that” and maybe redirect the conversation to something about them. This form of communication stems from a place of knowing. While this works in some dynamics, we need to ensure that the way we are speaking to each other makes both parties feel valued.
As our co-founder, Will Wise, explains in the video below, “A place of knowing comes with making assumptions.” We anticipate how the world is going to respond to what we give it, and we tend to stop ourselves from moving forward because we do not think we will gain anything new. We essentially create blockages for ourselves and our relationships by assuming that we know things. We can end that, though. We can move to a place where we constantly learn new things, even if there are small bits that we already did know.
We can shift into a place of learning. Learning really comes from asking powerful questions, which means asking questions that are rooted in genuine curiosity. What does that mean? Well, it means asking the questions that are begging to be asked. Think, “What am I most curious about from this conversation?” And then ask it. Our worlds start to light up as we gain all of this insight into other people’s lives. Coworkers seem more human than ever before, strangers are no longer strangers. And before you “know” it, stronger, happier, more reliable connections will form.
A challenge that we can find in Will’s new book that may help with our shift from knowing to learning is asking questions about these three things:
- What a person is wearing, whether it is an expression, accessory, etc.
- What are they carrying? Again, this can be physically or emotionally.
- What are they sharing (or presenting)?
BONUS: Ask how they came up with the idea to share what they have.
When we are curious, the world is more vibrant. So ask those questions, and learn something new.