How do you design inclusive events?
No, really. I’m asking you.
This was the exact question that hit me when I was designing the Connectors Summit, an event bringing together 400 people in a single virtual space. I suddenly realized:
There are 399 other perspectives here besides my own.
How do I make sure this event serves them and not just me?
That’s when I was lucky enough to meet Shaheen, who I invited into the design process. She brings a remarkable gift, almost like a special pair of glasses that helps her instantly notice what’s missing… or who is missing in a space.
This conversation with Shaheen reshaped how I think about inclusivity, facilitation, event design, and even how we structure icebreakers for meetings, team building activities, and spaces where meaningful connection can happen.
Below is what we uncovered together.
The “Glasses” of Inclusivity: Seeing What You Can’t Normally See
Shaheen explained that her insight doesn’t just come from study—
it comes from thousands of conversations.
Every conversation is like a little peephole into someone else’s world. You get these glimpses of experiences wildly different from your own. And over time, those glimpses turn into a lens that asks, automatically:
Who is in this picture?
Who is NOT?
And why?
Even in our early prep, Shaheen didn’t just provide feedback, she asked me thoughtful, curious questions that immediately revealed how much she has learned from listening deeply to many, many humans.
Inclusivity Already Shows Up in Good Facilitation (Even If You Don’t Call It That)
When I asked Shaheen what she noticed about the Connector Summit so far, she said something that struck me:
“Good facilitators already serve the people in the room. You may not label it inclusivity, but you’re doing it.”
But it also reframes how easy it is for facilitators to accidentally design only for themselves especially when we assume others share our preferences, attention spans, sensory needs, or comfort levels.
This is directly related to why so many traditional icebreakers for work, team building activities, and large events fail: they’re designed around what the host likes… not what everyone needs.
Designing a Virtual Space That Doesn’t Overload People
Our new Connectors Summit platform isn’t Zoom.
It’s a free-roam digital environment where people can “walk” into different rooms.
Amazing…
but also potentially overwhelming.
Shaheen helped me realize that the first 5–10 minutes could be cognitively intense for many brains. So we started asking:
- How do we create choice and autonomy?
- How do we reduce cognitive load long before people arrive?
- How do we make the space welcoming for all kinds of thinkers and feelers?
And that led to one of Shaheen’s most brilliant contributions.
Creating a Quiet Zone: Inclusion by Design
Shaheen suggested something I instantly loved:
A virtual Quiet Zone.
A place where people can:
- step away
- breathe
- turn their camera off
- take 10 minutes without “performing” socially
- listen to main-stage content without being visually present
- regulate screen fatigue, sensory overload, or emotional overwhelm
Because whether it’s a real conference or a virtual gathering:
By the end of the day, people are tired.
And this is such an overlooked aspect of inclusivity.
Quiet zones aren’t just thoughtful—they are often essential for:
- neurodivergent participants
- introverts
- overwhelmed parents
- people with sensory sensitivities
- those experiencing Zoom fatigue
- anyone who needs a break
This is the type of thinking that transforms generic events into inclusive ones.
Multiple Modes of Participation = Multiple Ways to Belong
One of the most important things we discussed was creating many different ways to participate:
- Chat response
- Off-mute sharing
- Small group discussions
- Asynchronous reflection
- Camera on or off
- Listening from a quiet space
- Pre-reading the reflection questions
- Written answers instead of verbal ones
This is essential not only for inclusive design, it’s foundational for better team building, group activities for adults, and even conversation starters that don’t leave anyone behind.
Reduce Uncertainty: People Need to Know What They’re Walking Into
Tell people exactly what to expect.
Humans (and particularly certain brains) want clarity on:
- Will my camera need to be on?
- Is this a Zoom meeting or a webinar?
- Is this a panel or breakout groups?
- Are there 3 people or 400 people?
- Are we networking?
- Is food provided at an in-person event?
- What’s the minute-by-minute agenda?
When people don’t know what’s coming, anxiety increases.
When they do know, psychological safety increases.
This matters deeply in icebreakers for adults, team meetings, large group activities, and any facilitated environment.
Small Tech Tweaks That Make Big Inclusivity Improvements
We even got tactical by looking directly at Zoom:
- Hide self-view
You’re not meant to stare at your own face in meetings. - Hide chat preview
If 1,000 people are having a chat avalanche… you shouldn’t have to see it unless you want to.
Tiny toggles, big impact.
These options expand who feels comfortable participating and how.
Shaheen’s Guiding Question for Designing Inclusive Events
To wrap up, I asked Shaheen the biggest question of them all:
“What’s your guiding question when designing for inclusivity?”
Her answer?
“Who is this serving?”
Every decision, every agenda item, every piece of tech, every moment of flow…
Ask:
Who does this serve?
If you want to see some of these ideas in action, come to the Connectors Summit next December.
