What Is It Like to Participate in a Virtual Meeting?
What Is It Like to Participate in a Virtual Meeting?
Navigating the Critics, Consumers and Contributors
People are usually surprised to find out that my job is helping others have better virtual gatherings. At least that’s part of what I do. I’ve facilitated over 500 interactive remote meetings, webinars and interactive keynotes—interactive being the key word here. And I love it! I exist on the planet to make connection and engagement easy both online and offline.
Altogether, I’ve spent the equivalent of several months of life in virtual meetings. So I have a sense of what they’re like. You probably do as well, given our pandemic experience of working remotely. But it’s important to truly understand the nuances of coming together online in order to design engaging and impactful virtual meetings.
To start, there’s a lot of variation in the experience. To illustrate that, I want to put you in the shoes of a couple of people I’ve seen in my virtual workshops and sessions.
I frequently lead a workshop titled ‘How to Make Virtual Engagement Easy.’ In one of those online sessions, a woman was sitting in a chair when a child appeared in the background. Her 8-year-old son, who was barely perceptible at first, snuck up closer until he disappeared right behind her. Then he pops his arms out on either side of her and starts waving them up and down. His mom, who paid a good bit for this workshop, is oblivious.
Taking it all in you can’t help but be reminded that virtual meetings can be, among other things, chaotic. Commonly, when you join virtual meetings you’re in your own home. There are family members screaming about spaghetti, FedEx delivery people ringing your doorbell and dogs barking. At least sometimes it feels like that. At other times, virtual sessions can be really quiet—dead quiet actually. The vacuum of mute can contribute to an odd sense of isolation despite being live with a group.
My brother-in-law was taking some online classes, and when he was visiting, he needed to log into a class. I found him downstairs on his laptop. He looked up and gave me this kind of knowing head nod—like, “I’m in class.” So I ate lunch nearby without saying a word. Do you know what it was like for him to be “in” that virtual meeting? Totally silent. Pure consumption. Not a peep from the student.
Those two experiences speak to the variation in virtual meetings. But it goes beyond that. People also have different mindsets when they come together online, which usually fall into three buckets. These are not types of people. We’re talking about states of mind, not traits. They may sound like traits, but we oscillate between these on a moment-to-moment basis.
By understanding the different mindsets, you’ll be empowered to create better virtual meetings. So here’s how it breaks down.
The Critics
Sometimes people are really comfortable pointing out what’s wrong in the world, but they’re totally uninterested in doing anything about it. These are your critics. They might have their arms crossed—literally—or have a closed mindset.
Your critics are thinking the meeting should have been an email, and they can’t wait for it to be over.
The Consumers
Next, you have those who might absorb everything but passively. They’re not really chiming in. They’re kind of just there and they don’t get involved. These are your consumers.
In the same way that you and I might mindlessly scroll through our favorite social media app, consumers are taking in the world around them, but they aren’t “posting” too much.
The Contributors
Finally, you have another group that does get involved. They’re not victims to their own experience or the agenda their boss has set out. They’re contributors. They’re here to actively add to and shape their world.
The world needs more folks in this state of mind. You want people with this mindset on your team. They make your job as a leader or educator easier and more impactful.
Design Your Meetings for Contribution
Obviously, if you’re leading or attending a virtual meeting, you want more contributors and fewer critics and consumers. The thing is, we can’t make anybody be anything. What we can do, however, is design our meetings for active contribution, not consumption.
To get hyper-specific, I would say you want this kind of meaningful, purposeful contribution, on average, about every seven minutes. That means going beyond asking, “Hey, what do you think about this?”
Truly check in with people. Have them rate the meeting on a scale of 1 to 10, where 10 is essentially the best meeting they’ve ever been in, and 1 is “you should have just sent this in an email.”
You can even have the group hold up that many fingers to the camera as a quick, fun visual to take the group’s temperature. If people have video off, you can ask the same question in chat and have team members respond there. If people aren’t a 10, ask, “What can we do to make this a 10 out of 10 for you?”
You’re in a Bad Movie
I think that participating in a virtual meeting is kind of like watching a really crappy home video that was filmed on the original iPhone. That’s basically what a video call is. It’s poorly orchestrated. It’s not particularly interesting. There’s not a lot of good conflict or active engagement. There are no explosions or crazy car chase scenes. It’s a pretty lousy movie that feels like it happens in slow motion, and it’s really pixelated. There can be a lag when we’re online that slows or temporarily stops conversations and leaves people who are speaking in the lurch.
One of the things I like to do to give people a better experience in virtual meetings is let them know what to expect in advance. To do this, I’ll record a video using a tool like Loom or VidYard that sets out the intention for the meeting. (You can find these at Loom.com or VidYard.com).
I get people excited by talking about what’s in it for them. I set expectations and might encourage people to show up “video ready” if they’re able. And since I’ll be asking for everyone to share their perspective throughout the session, I may invite them to have their keyboard ready and fingers warmed up to share in chat.
Sending a video like that beforehand is really helpful. That’s especially true if you’re leading a webinar or some kind of facilitated training and people don’t know what to expect. In a larger virtual event or webinar, I’ve noticed a simple video beforehand increases both attendance and engagement significantly. One virtual experience can be totally different than the next. You might be in a highly interactive virtual meeting where everyone has something to say. Or you could be attending an online college class that’s designed for consumption, rather than contribution, with only the professor speaking.
Given the range, you’ve got to set expectations about the kind of experience you’re trying to create before people actually show up. What you don’t want is for people to be surprised when they log into a meeting. It would stink to join a virtual meeting right after you just went for a five-mile run only to realize that you need to have your video on. With an existing team, having a simple discussion about what the virtual norms and agreements are can alleviate many future headaches and issues.
If you’re looking for ways to make virtual meetings better, that’s what I do. Will Wise and I created the Connection Toolkit to make it easy for leaders and educators to amplify connection, belonging and trust. You can purchase the toolkit so you have it on hand for meetings, or get all our free resources at:
There are more than 100 group exercises, which work for groups of all sizes. You can use questions from the deck of We! Connect Cards to create conversations that matter. It’s a really great way to start meetings with connection before content and to make your virtual gatherings more active and engaged.